EE: Internal Memo from CBlogS Executive

TO: T.D. Miller, creator: “Enigma Earth.”
FROM: Fred Armani, V.P. for Programming, Columbia Blogcasting System
Reference: Where is this thing going?

Mr. Miller:

We here in the programming office of CBlogS are concerned about the state of your blogovision series, “Enigma Earth.” At first we were all for something new an innovative in the world of blogging. However, we have some concerns the way this production has been going.

First of all, you promised the pilot episode in ten parts. You are already at eight and there is no end in sight. We were warned of your Tolstoyan proclivities. Could you please tell us how many more installments there will be? Perhaps a nice sitcom wrap up where nothing makes sense, but everyone laughs is a consideration.

Second, when you first suggested the use of dead actors in this production, we were all for it. The cost in salaries in hiring dead people cannot be better. And we thought, if Fred Astaire can do mop commercials, why can’t Ingrid Bergman make a comeback on the blogosphere? We love the marketing potential. However, you have marginalized her in the pilot and I am tired of taking calls from her deceased agent! Some of us up here on the top floor still wish you had picked Hillary Duff for that part. Think about it. Also, the casting of Dana Andrews as the lead was at first an idea reasonable to us. We wonder though, does he have the gravitas to pull it off in a full-length series? Granted being dead, means scheduling him is not a problem, but will audiences really buy a hero played by a dead person? Please consider the use of dead actors in future episodes. Perhaps we can use living actors with dead careers. That should keep costs about in line with the already deceased.

Speaking of future episodes. We are not exactly thrilled with the ratings for the pilot so far. You have few hits per day and only a few, constant, reading subscribers. As for the international audience, only one from Norway as far as we can tell. Surely, Mr. Miller we can do better than Norway. Our studies show that what people want these days is what we call C.R.A.P., a constant, regurgitation, of all programming. A healthy dose of sex, violence, exploitation of real people in reality scenarios and re-treaded plots may just be the thing to raise your numbers. Think about it.

Lastly, we hired you based on your reputation for being funny. So far, what you call EE has very little humor that we can see. Twenty-five years ago you were a young hot shot willing to poke fun at the world, at authority, at news, at popular culture. What was it called? “The Once and Future Saga?” You even liked to poke fun at network executives like me back then from what I hear. You have yet to make fun of network executives. If you wish, I can gather a focus group to look at how network executives and in fact any middle management suck ups like myself can best be satirized. Best wishes on the further adventures of Silas Whowood and company. Remember, T.D. we are here to help.

Sincerely,

Fred Armani

Comments

[jo5895]

You have marginalized Bergman....

[T.D.]

I guess you will have to keep reading. Like part ten. :-)